‘Fake’ Geek Girls or Blatant Hypocrisy?
I’ve recently read a lot of rather angry articles about what is deemed to be ‘fake geek girls’. To summarise, these voices shouting into the oblivion that is the Internet, are criticising what they deem to be girls who have so called ‘geeky’ interests in so far as only to get attention from guys and have no real interest in the actual lore and depth of the culture. Now I have never described myself as a geek personally, but I have had this term leveled at me quite a lot so here’s my two cents.
I’m all for groups of people defining themselves in order to bring people closer together and with the wonder of the Internet it means communities are created where you can share and discuss and feel part of something, especially if those around you don’t really follow your passions with the same zeal as you do. However, who is anyone to label what a ‘real geek’ is or a ‘fake’ one is, when the term itself is so broad and all encompassing. Geeks used to be the ones that were shunned from society so why would you fall into the trap of doing the same to others, when you finally have become the ones with the ‘cool factor’. The hypocrisy and sexism of it all is limitless.
You complain about being bullied and misunderstood yet then bully and misunderstand others, especially girls when they don’t have exactly the same interests as you or do not meet the high knowledge criteria that you expect from them. The enforced intellectual competition on your peers is ludicrous. You are essentially turning your bitterness at being marginalised into defensive bitterness and marginalisation. And these geeky men can avoid the label of being called sexist, as they can invoke a kind of meritocracy, in that ‘I’m not judging them for being female but rather for not knowing as much as us geeky men’. It’s falling into the trap of needing an ‘other’ to feel superior to and desiring, at any cost, to continue being the minority within society.
In terms of being a female ‘geek’, I have never found that to get me any extra attention from guys. I have faced 3 different scenarios. The first group of guys will judge and exclude me for not having the same interests and then call me out for being attention seeking, whilst patting me on the head like an ill informed child. This group I would not look at twice and would suggest that if you want to get laid and impress a girl, try being NICE for a change, instead of attacking her for being ‘easy’ or a ‘cock tease’ fake geek. It’s an easy way for these men to dismiss their insecurities about the opposite sex and societal pressures of having to find an attractive female without actually trying, due to the fact that ‘attractive females do not understand them’.
The second group of guys have gotten me on a date, they are charming and attractive, yet when I start banging on about anime or something along those lines, they look at me like I might as well be speaking Chinese and am slightly insane (so in this case being a geek has not helped in the slightest either). And the third group are nice guys, who do have similar interests but are accepting of other people’s obsessions and are willing to learn and try new ones, and they are the ones who you become friends with and even date. Unfortunately, to me, that group seems to be the smallest.
Furthermore, I lament the fact that women feel the need to bash other women for their interests and call them out as fake. I’m not sure if it’s jealousy or wanting to be the minority and somehow special, or simply being pretentious and ‘hipstery’ about it all, but it seems to me that there is enough female bashing in day to day life, from slut shaming to how women should behave in the work environment, etc. Why not allow a culture where people have been humiliated and mocked for so long, to be a place where anyone with any interests can be accepted and educated and loved?
Within geek culture girls have far more to prove. Especially attractive ones. Goal posts are moved and expectations are different. Instead of assuming their interests are a product of attention seeking, give them the benefit of the doubt. Celebrate female geeks. And in doing so maybe we can make ‘geek’ culture more female friendly and less male centric and maybe, just maybe we can create more geek culture targeted towards women or instead simply include strong, realistic female characters within already established fandoms. Geek culture should bring any and all people together no matter what you’re into. Let us be forward-thinking, celebrate our similarities AND differences and establish ‘geek’ culture as here to stay.